Change in Attitude

Lee and Denise
Hiking in Yellowstone Nat. Park

As I talked about in my first post, a healthy lifestyle and diet need a healthy mental attitude. Your body depends upon your soul to keep healthy just as much as your soul needs a healthy body.

I have wrestled with depression off and on in my life. I finally learned how to control it years ago without the use of drugs and have come to realize that my physical well-being was a big part of that.  When my body is unhealthy, my emotions and mental well-being are also unhealthy. The same for the other way around. When I start falling into negative attitudes or being lazy or stressed, my body would slip into lazy eating habits and general laziness physically. They go hand-in-hand.

One of the things I have wanted to do for a long time is the change of habit and improvement of virtues that Benjamin Franklin wrote about in his autobiography. (Read “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin” for more information.) He wanted to improve himself so he listed 13 virtues he wanted to work on and would focus on one a week. In this way he would work through each one 4 times a year. The idea, he said, was to develop the habit of using these virtues and to work on them one at a time so as not to try to change all at once.

I decided to do this to go along with my new diet and exercise regime. That way I would be working on my mental health as well as the two physical aspects (what I take in to my body and what I put out.)

Here is the list of Benjamin Franklin’s virtues along with the “precepts” (or guidelines) for each:

(some words have been corrected in spelling from the original)

Temperance (Eat not to dullness: drink not to elevation)

Silence (Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation)

Order (Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time)

Resolution (Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve)

Frugality (Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e. waste nothing)

Industry (Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions)

Sincerity (Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly)

Justice (Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty)

Moderation (Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve)

Cleanliness (Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation)

Tranquility (Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable)

Chastity (Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation)

Humility (Imitate Jesus and Socrates)

My list is slightly different, but I have the same intentions of developing good habits, as did Mr. Franklin. Here is my list:

Service: Do something of service for someone outside my family at least once a day.

Order: Organize my home and keep it organized and clean.

Gratitude: Express gratitude to others, every chance, and in my journal each time I write.

Happiness: Be a cheerful and positive person at all times.

Faith: Become more holy and re-dedicate my life to living as a true Christian woman.

Humility: Be humble, overcome pride, learn to control anger and not control others.

Friendship: Make new friends and nurture relationships with old friends.

Health: Exercise, eat healthily, and promote a stress-free lifestyle.

Mentor: Teach others, listen to the needs of others, teach them to learn for themselves, be a good example.

Preparedness: Be prepared for the future: get food storage and emergency plans in place.

Learning: Further my education by studying, reading, searching and using the information I obtain.

Partnership: Improve my marriage by feeding the partnership with love, selflessness and devotion to the one person who holds my heart.

Frugality: Avoid excess spending, be a better homemaker, provide home-cooked, healthy meals and grow, store and use my own food.

You can choose your own habits and qualities that you want to work on. My only suggestion is that you pick things you know you need to work on and don’t just choose things that would be easy. Some of my own virtues I listed are things that may not be really hard to work on, but are things I definitely want to be better at doing. I also picked a few things that will be hard, but are very much needed, such as frugality. I love to spend money, but I know I should be thrifty and smart with my money.

Being positive also helps with my own internal vision of myself. Experts will tell you to envision yourself thin and you will become that vision. When you are happy and positive, it is easier to envision yourself thin. You tend to see yourself at your optimum, which includes being fit, thin, happy and otherwise perfect. So I would encourage you to make being positive one of your choices for improvement, even if you are already a happy person.

I have tried to make a habit of writing in my journal, too. This seems to help a lot, especially when I want to stay focused on goals and keeping positive. One of things I do is to write 3 things I am thankful for each day. I do that first. Then I tell about my goals and all the things happening in my life. I also keep myself accountable for goals I have set by keeping track of them, writing down my progress so far, and expressing my feelings about what I am doing. This keeps me focused and happy. If you don’t like to write in a journal, here’s a suggestion: get a small notebook (or find an app on your phone or tablet!) and write 3 things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. Sometimes this is all I write, but when I do this every day, I am so much more positive and happy!

And being cheerful has some other benefits, as well. People like me better. They want to spend time with me or chat with me because I am not being negative. Even when you hurting, if you express your negativity too much, it weighs down those around you. Keep your negative thoughts to just a couple close people who can handle it and let the rest of the world think “how does she stay so cheerful even when she is going through that trial?” Believe me, they will look up to you and want to help you more than if you were complaining all the time. (Especially on Facebook or other social apps.)

And one final word about Facebook and the like: remember that it is a social site. It’s like an online party. Would you air all your complaints and dirty laundry at a party? Would you be so negative if all those friends were in the same room with you and celebrating happy things? I hope not!

Have a happy day and find something yummy to make your taste buds happy, too, like this:

Coconut Key Lime Pie

Good luck!

Hugs and cheers!

Denise